I have decided to incorporate some of my own personal draws into this blog for the purposes not only of sharing and learning from them with you, but as a way of embracing a new way of life which includes more honesty not only with myself but with others.
So, this morning I drew a card from the Goddess Tarot regarding a situation in my life that has been causing me a lot of pain. I asked for a message from one of the goddesses regarding that situation, how to move on, how to deal with the difficult feelings it raised in me. This is what I received (reversed):
I turned the card upright and studied it for a long time and these are the images that stood out to me.
The diaphonous silky looking scarves streaming across the face of the card seemed symbolically perfect to me in terms of the relationship that was causing me pain. It was delicate, fragile ... not strong enough to develop into something more stable. The globe on the card SCREAMED to me about the significance of the physical world in this situation and the fact that this was a long-distance relationship. That distance was crucial to why it broke down and it made me feel a little better. I had been blaming myself for the failure of the relationship, putting all the onus of it on me, my failings, my mistakes. The distance was one of the key reasons it failed, not just me (or him). This card comforted me a little and made me realize there were many more factors at play than just me. The rectangular pictures of snow falling at the top and flowers blooming at the bottom made me think of the saying "for everything there is a season." Things are always changing ... I will not always feel this way. The pain will run its course, life will move on, and change will occur.
The World also signifies the end of a cycle. Nothing could sum it up better than that.The relationship that caused me so much pain ran its course. It ended. Now it's time to focus on new things. It served its purpose and negative as much of the experience was, I learned a great deal about myself and other people. They were very valuable lessons.
The brief description from the little white book said this (for the reversed meaning):
Desire for positive change, though uncertainty on how to make it happen. Fear of expansion.
I can't disagree with that. This has been something I've struggled with all my life ... wanting things to change but uncertain of how to make it happen and also being afraid of it. We're all afraid of the unknown and when things have felt bad for a long time even something positive can feel scary when bad is all we're used to. We become comfortable with feeling crappy even though we hate it. I'm sure you've all heard the phrase "misery loves company." Your own unhappiness can feel like that toxic friend who loves to share old hurts with you and ruminate about how awful the world is.
It all comes down to making that choice. Do you want to move on and manifest new things or do you want to stay stuck in comfortable unhappiness? The choice is always ours.
Namaste.